Yes, we are chatting about grocery shopping because the weekly task can be overwhelming enough for anyone, let alone an individual in the fight of their life with ED.
So, for those of us who are unawares, what is it about grocery shopping that causes such distress?
Eating disorders are by nature food centered conditions – thoughts about food consume our minds, we spend a large portion of our days planning meals, we count, we follow ED’s rules, and exist in a world that truly is ruled by this entity. So, walking into a store that is covered wall to wall in foods with triggering diet language, easily accessed caloric labels, and tons of decisions that need to be made surrounding the biggest fear/struggle is A LOT. Add in a bubbling social atmosphere with little room for escape when anxieties peak and distress may set in, and you can see how grocery shopping, for the one fighting their eating disorder in recovery, is incredibly stressful.
So, what are some strategies we can use to help us find more peace while walking through the aisles of the grocery store:
Be prepared for the battle by making a list! I know it may seem silly, but making a list in the safety of your home or with a trusted dietician can help reduce your stress significantly. Now, instead of going into the grocery store and being faced with a million choices, you have a gameplan and know what exactly you need to grab to get in and to get out. Additionally, planning to add certain challenge foods to the cart ahead of time can significantly reduce the distress of trying to decide in the moment whether you want to challenge your eating disorder or remain in your comfort zone.
Find a friend or family member to tag along with you. Not only can they help assist you in making healthy [and I mean balanced and non-eating disorder related] decisions and interrupt any eating disorder behaviors that may arise, but they also add some fun and distraction into the situation. And bringing someone in who knows your struggle with ED can also add a level of comfort, as the one standing beside you knows a piece of what is going on inside that head of yours and is with you every step of the way.
Shop at smaller stores or at quieter times of day. This will help reduce the high levels of stimuli in the store, thus reducing the overwhelming nature of the shopping trip. While big stores have shelves upon shelves of food items making it easy to compare and find the most selective option, or load the cart impulsively enabling a binge, the smaller stores mean smaller selections and less ability to act upon eating disorder compulsions. The quieter atmosphere also creates an environment with less risk for becoming triggered due to passerby’s comments or the mindless commentary of the cashier. While these changes in routine won’t eliminate all stress, making small decisions to benefit yourself in recovery until you grow in confidence and food-freedom can be life changing.
Incorporate some headphones with some up-beat music or intriguing podcast that will help shift focus and provide distraction! I did this all the time in recovery for grocery shopping and to just drown out those unpleasant noises floating around in my brain. Not only did the music drown out the negativity and help turn my focus to the song or podcast, but it also drowned out the voices of those around me and helped me stay focused and avoid any unnecessary triggers. There are also affirmation/positive thinking/meditation-based podcasts that could be incredibly helpful to listen to before entering the store or while you stroll down the aisles checking things off your list. I have noted some below:
Establish a pre-store routine to put you into the right mindset before you conquer this giant. This is the time to pull out all those anxiety reducing exercises and mindfulness routines you learned in therapy. Your pre-store routine may include things like: reciting a grounding mantra, performing deep breathing exercises, listing off affirmations as you look in your rear mirror, or even playing with some playdough. These things while small can bring some peace and reframing into the situation, righting your mind before those doors roll open and you get to work.
Avoid those food labels. I know this will be incredibly difficult as grocery stores are FULL of labels, but if you can do your best to avoid taking a peek your anxiety and recovery will be very thankful. Why? When we choose foods based on the information found on the box, we enable ED and cause those behaviors to become further rooted in our brains. However, if we choose the food based on the smell, texture, appearance, taste, or box design, we disobey the rules of ED and push ourselves further towards food-freedom. Yes, this is initially incredibly scary, but by making this a forced routine, in time it will become easier and eventually you will naturally peruse the aisles looking for something new to try that catches your eye. And it all starts with taking this one small step in alignment with your recovery goals and in defiance of ED.
Bonus tip: To help continue this habit at home and build a routine of avoiding
those pesky numbers you can cover the label in tape, take a black sharpie to
that box, cut it out, or there are even positive, affirming label covers you can
buy off Etsy or amazon! I linked some cute ones below!
Celebrate your wins. I am a HUGE advocate for celebrating your wins in eating disorder recovery because even taking seemingly small steps forward is a very big deal in ridding your life of ED and even saving your life. So, when you make it out to the car – whether you conquered your list and more, or simply made it through the first few items – blast a pump up song and let yourself feel the accomplishment of taking those steps to vanquish ED. Participating in calming forms of self-care, such as journaling, watching some TV, reading a good book, taking a bubble bath, is also an amazing way to re-center yourself and reward yourself for your courage.
Walking through these challenges in recovery will take time, but they are possible. As you work through each one, you will gain not only freedom, but confidence, resilience, and life!
And always remember, progress not perfection is what truly counts!!! You got this!