During your recovery from an eating disorder did you ever hear the statement:
You have an eating disorder because your faith is too small.
Ouch. Yet, this phrase was muttered several times over the past six years, and being very blunt, to a young girl battling a very large and confusing giant it was incredibly discouraging.
To give you perspective, I grew up in a Christian home surrounded by strong people of faith, accepting Christ at a young age. Homeschooled until middle school, I then received private Christian education through middle and high school. This experience furthered my knowledge of Scripture and surrounded me with more individuals, both peers and mentors, who were on fire for God. Of course, being young, I was still learning how to study the Bible appropriately and develop my own personal faith, but I assure you it was there. Then my eating disorder struck. I did not blame God for my circumstances, but my obsession with food and numbers left little room for God in my life. ED had appeared and pushed God to the side, but He was far from gone.
As I progressed into recovery, I realized my only way around ED was through active pursuit of recovery and the help of God. I dove into Bible Study, determined to restore God to His rightful number one spot in my life, the spot ED had weaseled his way into. And, as I heard this comment repeated, I began to believe it… and in honesty, it made me want to stay away. Fortunately, knowing God’s character, I knew He was the only answer and stayed despite the doubt that crept into my heart.
Perhaps you have heard this statement too, and I present two responses:
Stated best by Timothy Keller: “It is not the strength of your faith, but the object of your faith that actually saves you.” The one thing that always stood out to me about this statement was the two little words at the end, “too small.” For me, something about this always sat uneasy with my soul. And studying Scripture I lately found the source of my uneasiness, Matthew 17:20. “He replied [He being Jesus], ‘Because you have so little faith. Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.” Here, He is speaking to disciples who have posed the question in the previous verse: “Why couldn’t we drive it out?” It being a demon. Here we see Jesus accusing those around Him of low faith. He proceeds using the mustard seed to make a point – a seed used by the Jews to signify anything of small quantity of weight. Jesus states if their faith in miracles, performed in Christ’s name, was even the size of the most minuscule seed, they could do things of equal difficulty to moving the mountains. Basically, Jesus was asserting that even a small amount of faith, in Him, has the ability overcome mountainous obstacles in our lives. Why? Because it is not the strength of our faith that is the deciding factor, but whom we are placing our faith in, for God is all-powerful and easily makes the impossible possible. Nothing is beyond Him. Of course, this does not mean we should stop once we achieve a small level of faith. The Bible notes God would rather us be hot or cold over lukewarm, asserting that He would prefer us to be all-in or all-out rather than teetering in the middle. Additionally, in Hebrews the author encourages us to move on from baby food [the basics of faith] and progress to solid foods [principles of mature faith]. We all have room to grow and mature, however, no one should be shamed for their “small faith.” We all start somewhere, instead of passing judgment, act in compassion, helping to grow and mature their faith in time.
God is not looking for perfect people [they don’t exist], He is looking for people who have a heart towards Him. Have you ever read the Old Testament; it is full of people highlighted for their works in the faith. Many of them are mentioned again in the New Testament, notably in Hebrews 11, the hall of faith. However, if you dive deep into their stories, you will find a LOT of dirt. Abraham slept with his wife’s maid at her request to hurry up the promise God had made. Jacob lied. Moses lied. Rahab was a prostitute. David committed adultery, lies, and murder. Yet, all were commended for their faith. Lastly, I will mention doubting Thomas as evidence. John 20:24-27 “24 Now Thomas , one of the Twelve, was not with the disciples when Jesus came. 25 So the other disciples told him, “We have seen the Lord! ”But he said to them, “Unless I see the nail marks in his hands and put my finger where the nails were, and put my hand into his side, I will not believe.” 26 A week later his disciples were in the house again, and Thomas was with them. Though the doors were locked, Jesus came and stood among them and said, “Peace be with you!” 27 Then he said to Thomas, “Put your finger here; see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it into my side. Stop doubting and believe." I think we can agree this is not Thomas’ best moment, and now he is known for his doubt. But I love how Jesus responds, not in condemnation, but with grace and understanding. Similarly, when Peter begins sinking in the water after stepping out of the boat, doubting Jesus’ ability to keep him afloat, Jesus extends His hand. Yes, in both cases, Jesus also teaches and corrects lovingly, but He does not let them sink. See, all humans have fallen short, there is no perfect person, not one. Our lives, as Christians, are spent working towards bringing ourselves into alignment with God. He knows, by ourselves, we would never come close to perfection, that is why He sent His Son for us.
So, sure, in recovery there was plenty of room for me to grow and mature my faith which had become passive and infiltrated with doubt. And yes, I do believe there is a time and place for gentle correction, made in love. However, I do not think you can blame an eating disorder on a lack of faith, instead, it is part of living in a fallen world. People are never going to be perfect. There will be seasons of mistakes and doubt. People will have questions and may not always act in alignment with God's Word. But, they are made in the image of God, they are valuable, and we must strive to treat them as God would. It is our job as part of a worldwide family, to bear each others burdens and build each other up in faith. Providing gentle loving correction when needed, and sitting with the brokenhearted, pointing both back to God who brings light to the darkness. I hope for those speaking this statement I have provided some insight and guidance for changing those harsh words to words of truth spoken in love not judgement. And for those receiving this statement, I hope I have provided some evidence that your faith being too small is not the cause of your ED, none are perfect, and there is grace. Run to God, He will not disappoint.