Confession time!
Growing up I was the quiet, innocent child who rarely got in trouble and loved attending church activities. While I sin constantly, and have battled through numerous trials revealing the brokenness and distortion of my human nature, I have maintained a relationship with God. Throughout all of Satan’s attacks trying to deprive me of my faith, God has held tight and refused to let me go. Rather than weakening my faith, my battles have only served to make it stronger.
Therefore, one could say Satan has failed to make me “bad,” or surrender my faith to the world.
Now… I often pride myself in keeping a tight and full schedule! I kid you not, there are literally days I have homework planned out to the hour, just to make sure I can fit it in between my running, volunteering, nannying, and seemingly endless list of chores. Living in a planned world keeps me feeling sane and in control, but more importantly it gives me a sense of meaning and purpose. As I have learned to better manage my time through experience, I have realized my busyness orders my priorities. Things I find useless to advancements in my life are discarded and replaced with hobbies, necessities, and studies.
As I sat down this morning at 6am when school was delayed, I decided to use the quiet time before my house erupted into noise to read my Bible and begin another prayer journal. Walking into my room I pulled out a small, red book full of blank pages… or so I thought. Slowly flipping open the cover, I realized the pages were partially full of prayers from three years ago. In a daze, I sat down at the kitchen table with my tea and began reading the words of a younger Alissa. I have no recollection of starting a prayer journal in this book years ago, but the words brought back countless memories and I soon was caught up in the pages. Until they stopped on March 16, 2016. Staring at the next blank page, soon to be full with a new prayer, I was hit by the randomness of the ending. It is contrary to my nature to begin something I care about and not follow through to the end.
That is when God tugged on my heart. No, Satan had not succeeded in making me “bad” over the years, but he had managed to make me quite busy, and along the way I frequently considered God and my relationship with Him to be one of the things discarded and irrelevant to my life. Satan had filled my God given meaning and purpose with a false importance from busyness and earthly commitments. I love God so incredibly much, but I lose Him in the physical reality of a world dictated by calendars, alarms, and due dates. I push Him aside to complete one assignment saying, “I will get back to Him later,” only there are more assignments after that and soon He is forgotten… just like my prayer book. In Luke 10:38-42 Jesus reminds us of how easy it is to love Him, but neglect Him for the tasks of the world:
“Now as they went on their way, Jesus entered a village. And a woman named Martha welcomed him into her house. And she had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord's feet and listened to his teaching. But Martha was distracted with much serving. And she went up to him and said, “Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Tell her then to help me.” But the Lord answered her, “Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled about many things, but one thing is necessary. Mary has chosen the good portion, which will not be taken away from her.”
Mary and Martha are known for being close to and loving Jesus during His time on earth. However, just like us, Martha got swept up in the to-do-list of life and became a slave to time and schedules. She prioritized the things she felt were essential to complete, serving Christ, and placed less focus on other things, sitting still at His feet and listening in silence. Before you misunderstand me, it is not wrong to serve God and others, however, when our service and busy life distract us from sitting at the feet of our Savior, that is when a problem occurs. God should be a priority in all of our lives if we claim to follow Him.
The good news is this: just like my prayer journal, God will always be there when you find your way back to Him regardless of how busy you have been. Of course He may have to grab your attention in an unpleasant and convicting manner, but He will welcome you back with open and loving arms. It is never too late to return and sit at the feet of Jesus. The same feet pierced so each of us could have life and live it to the fullest! Just don’t forget the words of Psalm 46:10:
“Be still, and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth!”
I am going to spend this year attempting to make God a priority instead of a forgotten part of my life because I know: If Satan can’t make you bad… he will make you busy! I hope you al will do the same!
I love you all dearly!!!